read between the lines..
just a conference meeting. it drags on and on.. its quite amazing how the smallest of details can be brought up and discussed for more than 30mins.. and its also how the way they speak that arouses me..
話中有話 this is probably one way to define it. haha. appear to be like praising you. but is actually beating ard the bush. shooting u back instead..
Whatever it is, its still really good to tap on their rich veins of experience. its tiring and i hope future conferences could be shorter than it is now. the record stands at 11hrs of conference meeting!!
home sweet home and its public holiday. what to do? leave it to tml and go sleep right now ba~ ZzzZz (:
at peace
keep quiet. . . .
enjoy the silence. . . . .
The days of late . . .
We watched mamma mia! last night and it was a wonderful show albeit it seems like a MTV at times. Nevertheless, it was great. I guess it deserves 3.5/5 stars.
We slowly walked home after that just like we always have. Ah boy's gonna own a bike soon! and I want free rides!~ There was the craze bout pink again. I really wonder what's so nice bout pink. Apparently that's his favourite color.
Then there's hao who always seems so emo. Haha! He's getting affected by his peers. Stop the counting down to ORD! Just complete the task at hand for now i guess coz there ain't really a choice given to us. And he really shld change his nick to "AhHao Emo". Seems perfect doesn't it.
I feel i haven't been a very good friend as of late. I don't know why but I hope everyone understands.
It's Saturday evening and I'm at home staring at the computer screen again. There's the F1 fever in town these days and its really not appropriate to be in town anyways. Its been hard getting people out as well. We haven't been having fun together for some time, playing soccer and what not. This is no joke. Personal commitment and forced commitment comes into play. Our schedule just doesn't fit in. Ah Boy's taking leave + off for two weeks and that's awesome. I don't have the freedom of getting that much Off days though i can get it whenever i liked. I've planned to clear my leave on december and guess that's probably the best time to take a good break from the nonsense my entire wrecked life meant. I wish everything's just as simple as (a b c).
F1 fever's in town! I've heard that Fernando Alonso top the practice sessions. Let's hope he tops the qualifying as well! Manchester United had better thrash Bolton real hard tonight! I'm going for a 4-0 victory. Saturday night fever! Sunday Blues~ -_-
Haha! let's just enjoy while it lasts! (:
Appraisals.
Some of the things my guys wrote bout me. good and bad.- 2Lt Chuang He You is a very forceful and upright person. However, he is also very helpful and easy going at times. He organises outings for us to promote cohesiveness. He is also very friendly and approachable. He can be very forceful at time when he wants to get things done. For e.g, he implemented a new system where the seniors and juniors are treated more fairly.
- A very easy going and nice to talk to officer, have alot of good ideas to motivate us and was also quite lenient with us. However, he can be very strict when it comes to work which is a good thing. Ever since the new system was created, things seem to improve.
- He plays well in his role as a BSO, having the leadership skills to lead his man well. He is also understanding and cares for his man.
- Promise but don't deliver at times.
- Listens sometimes.
- Firm with decisions but some impractical
- Still new, can improve and overall a good leader.
- Sometimes just feel that he doesn't listen to man level opinions.
Sometimes its just nice to know how ur guys feel about u isn't it~
lovely
Leader?
im a commander for god damn sake.. i've my guys i need to care for. their welfare. their worries, their lifestyle and difficulties. everything. its my responsibility as their leader.
i like to see the guys enjoy their time. have fun and laughter together as a group. see them smiling and gossiping, laughing at others shortcomings. they have their low points as well. and when that happens. i found myself at a lost of wondering how to actually motivate them..
Everyday im making decisions.. i've had my fair share of good and bad ones. decisions that affect the life of another person drastically.. i've made decisions on short notice. even now, decisio making remains one of my weakest link.. still, i've to brace myself for future endeavours..
today, i've heard that my guy who i've posted out somewhere else cried becoz he felt he's alr bonded into his current environment.. it's not like i've much of a choice eventually. but sometimes hearing such things happening makes me feel devastated.. makes me wonder just what kind of a leader am i really..
it jus suddenly strikes to me so deeply that how much one's decision really could impact so many around him, whether positively/negatively. . .
Ain't she gorgeous?
城裡的月光
每顆心上某一個地方
總有個記憶揮不散
每個深夜某一個地方
總有著最深的思量
世間萬千的變幻
愛把有情的人分兩端
心若知道靈犀的方向
哪怕不能夠朝夕相伴
城裡的月光把夢照亮
請溫暖他心房
看透了人間聚散
能不能多點快樂片段
城裡的月光把夢照亮
請守候他身旁
若有一天能重逢
讓幸福撒滿整個夜晚
每顆心上某一個地方
總有個記憶揮不散
每個深夜某一個地方
總有著最深的思量
世間萬千的變幻
愛把有情的人分兩端
心若知道靈犀的方向
哪怕不能夠朝夕相伴
城裡的月光把夢照亮
請溫暖他心房
看透了人間聚散
能不能多點快樂片段
城裡的月光把夢照亮
請守候他身旁
若有一天能重逢
讓幸福撒滿整個夜晚
城裡的月光把夢照亮
請溫暖他心房
看透了人間聚散
能不能多點快樂片段
城裡的月光把夢照亮
請守候他身旁
若有一天能重逢
讓幸福撒滿整個夜晚
若有一天能重逢
讓幸福撒滿整個夜晚
The vicious cycle.
why are we doing what we are.? extra precautions.? certain level of classifications.
why are we doing all these? simply because we cant compromise! and when something happens. people will start pointing fingers. it just goes around and round like a vicious cycle.
Sometimes when i look at the guys, its just amazing they're putting in so much for everyone. the kind of work they do.. throughout the nite. without sleep.. i've experienced a little of that and i could tell that it was no joke..
The level of concentration that u have to be in. and considering the fact that we humans alertless drops drastically during the nite. any mistake would have been catastrophic cdonsidering what we're dealing with. so what pulls them through.? thier level of endurance are nt any lower than us and worse still, there's nth in the short term for them to look forward to..
Sometimes as commanders on the ground, u feel powerless to help make their life just that bit better.
haiz. its alright.. i think i shld go zzz. +_+
what is it..
the signs are there..
the stars said so..
my mind believes so..
my heart feels it..
what is it really?
there's two now.
are you or you hinting me on something?
i couldn't grasp.
The truth?
can i handle the truth?
what do i do?
i don't wish for this..
my sacrifice
if u need me, i'll be there~
if u don't, i'll be gone~
sweet weekend ahead
its been a while since we last hang out. been a while since we enjoyed the breeze at east coast. yest was a good cameo. lol all hao's fault. but never mind. went for supper. talked crap. realised that ever since we enlisted. the common topic has always been that. how terrible our experience is. how xiong is it. what kind of funny experience we encountered. wahaha. basically just every damn thing lah.. time flies. just 9 more months and its goodbye~ and my dear cousin is enlisting. LoL. still cannot pass napfa.. good luck lah huh.. enlisting earlier isn't always a bad thing anyway.
and its saturday le! feels bright feels good~ mayb watch a few movies again b4 going out. or not at all. i wonder.. my buddy came back from brunei le.. and his training is tougher than mine.. so what makes me worth 1k?. anyway. jus glad he's back.
there's a big match tonight! man utd vs liverpool! hoping for a good result.
enjoy while i can really! coz the coming week is gonna be like hell.. im used to not bringing work back home so this is really my personal time. the next 36hrs that is~ =]
this wretched place
what would u do if ur in a shit place that u nvr wanted to belong to?
what would u do when ur given a shit job that u nvr enjoyed doing?
what would u do when shit happens and and people push the shit to u?
what would u do when some bugger nags at u like some crazy old hag when she obviously is the one who has a couple of screws loose up above?
haiz. and unfortunately, im at such a place right now around such people. Well luckily, i think after this project, i won't ever be associated with these bitches again. makes me wanna puke, damn old hags. damn pissed.
this place is the totally opposite of paradise. i wouldn't rate it better than a rubbish dump. Selfish people? Emo people? No life people? Nosey people? Talk only No action(TONA) people? Fact is, it just truly suks. What happens when someone needs ur help? i'll definitely help regardless of who he is. But what happens again when u need help?
Their answer?
1. Not me not me? pls direct to him!
2. no lah. go and tell xxx lah.
3. huh? why me?
i say fuck u understand??
It really pisses me off that MUCH. and of cos no offences to the really helpful bunch which i think does not amount to 50% of the lot.
People are smart and they wouldn't do more than required of them. So as new guys, we'll definitely get bullied one way or another.
Its hard being a bad guy but it ain't easy being a nice guy either. But there's this saying
"Being kind to your enemy meant being cruel to urself." treat people nice and u might never know when they'll just turn around and bite ur tail. Some people are just really not worth the effort.
So i just thought, if the society is as bad as it is here. I wonder how long i can stand it here. I dread looking at how the trains are packed the way it is. I hate the no life place it is right here.
what now? time to pamper myself~
and so i've completed like one huge project. wonder when the next one's coming. but surely the arrows will start flying along. no issues though! i think im more than prepared to deal with it. more than ever!
Lately, there's more PT sessions le. New PT prog introduced for the IPPT failures. Of coz, i'll be joining my guys lah. haven had such workouts for some time le and my body feels lethargic.. There was some aching ard my upper body especially my chest and lats. Nonetheless, it was fulfilling through and through..
omgg.. i think i spent quite abit this month le.. payday faster come!
i miss my buddies lei! This week's gonna have a feast. Looking forward to it!!
home alone
i was home alone for the 1st time since a long time. watched 2 movies, couple of animes and TV. really enjoyed my day. been long since i had such a relaxing day.
but surely this coming week, arrows will start flying again. boo hoo. that suks. but when all dont work out. i still hav my precious peeps ard me. for myself and for all ard me, i wont go down ever.
hate
i think i hate u. i really do..
my 2 yrs..
having unwillingly surrendered 2 yrs of my life, i've also surrendered both my freedom and soul. nonetheless, i've more or less fit into the new system and environment that im in right now. as an officer, the weight of expectation is always there. and couple that with the pressure to deliver.. at times it has been difficult. but eventually everything's just got going.
though at times, i feel like all this is nothing compared to what the others are going through. im considered to having a really good life now. regardless, i know my families, buddies and big sis are always there by my side. hahaha. they rox. luv them~
