Simply Charismatic

2011-07-23T09:34:00.001+08:00

wow. when was the last time i last had an entry. hahaha! well now, blogging ain't my thing anymore. Lots of thing's have changed over the years. I could be blogging again soon. Till then. :)

Ungracious Locals

2008-11-16T12:07:00.002+08:00

Not flushing the toilets after use.
spitting in public
fighting for seats in the bus/trains.
not giving up seats to someone who needs it more.
refusing to turn off mobile phones in theatre.
cutting queues
rushing into the lifts/trains b4 others step out.
pushing and shoving in train stations.

the pathetic sight of ugly singaporeans this is.
totally uncool. =/

im jus me.

2008-11-13T21:41:00.002+08:00

im no loudhailer, im jus purely soft-spoken..
im no bully, neither am i good to bully..
don't take my friendliness and kindness for granted, i won't help all the time.

im not quiet, u jus haven known me enuff. neither do u need to.
im jus me and that's jus me. i won't change for anyone.
if there's a line to be drawn, i will draw the line. and if u step over it. i wun jus sit still.
and if u dont like the way i am how i am, den u're welcome to scram anytime. coz im not gonna invite u to. =)

notes of memories.

2008-11-11T19:36:00.003+08:00

i was flipping through the papers this morning and i saw this article. it was bout ACJS shifting locations. so they're gonna tear down the building apparently.

thus, they invited their old boys back to this soon-to-be demolished school. the next thing they did really left me emotional. they wrote notes of their memories and experienced in this school and pasted them on walls, in toilets, at the canteen and various other significant places. one of the notes wrote,

"Ms ** threw my bag off this ledge during P6."

my mind went back to my pri and sec sch times instantly. there's many many different memories.

"this was where i was caned for the 1st time."
"the field i always ran."
"the corridor when i first saw her."
"the chair she sat on."
"how we played a prank on someone."
"the pond that a bugger fell into."
"this was where i fell and hurt myself."
"this is where we treat a classmate to fists on his birthday. HAhaha!"

to be honest, i've had fonder memories at junior sch. those were the times when we're so innocent, so silly and so evergreen. occasionally, i still talk bout old times with the old gang. hahA~ and its always kinda emotional. we joked & laughed so hard at how silly we were then. to the point that tears rolled down our cheeks and those were really tears of joy of coz. how yq always got called to the principal's office because of his truants. how hao always got scolded in class. how lucky he was to have two cute girls sitting beside him. HAhA!

well, that's not to say i din enjoyed my time in sec sch. well, probably there are more undesirable memories than unforgettable memories there. i couldn't really comprehend though.

happenings. reminiscing old times.

2008-11-09T01:55:00.004+08:00

awwww. im finally back. and so tired that is.. hahaha.

today's quite eventful. met up with a old poly classmate. haven seen each other for like 1 1/2 yrs.. was invited by my financial adviser and so went down to JNP red olive cafe to take part in a financial orientated board game.Its concept is somehow like monopoly but there's more to it. its more complex has more attributes to it. furthermore, luck plays a very important part. It was a really interesting game. i was really engrossed within that 1 1/2 hrs.. i don rmb having a 1 1/2 hr that passes so fast in a while.. i really could have continued for another few hours. thus many thanks to reynis and alvin for this opportunity. it was really an eye opener. everyone was so enthusiastic. its a pity i din win. but i think i did well for a 1st timer u see.. so at the end of it. i recommended a couple of frens. wrote down their names and contact nos. dunno if they wld be interested. but hope that it wld be helpful..

these days i felt quite enthusiastic as well. i suddenly had the urge to train up more in attempt to reclaim my IPPT Gold and to obtain another $100. it was just there for the taking. but i haven worked out for a long time. and last wednesday's mini workout and run left me aching here and there. it was a first run in almost a mth due to my unusually hectic schedule. i wanna break my chin up record of 12 reps. i wanna work on my abs. i wanna run faster than i ever did. coz in the end, nothing tastes sweeter than a day of hard work. when u just went thru a freaking tough day of shiet. you'll naturally find joy in it after.

and so i got myself a new pair of asics running shoes. cost me $200 over. it was rare that i spent that much. but well, who cares. i think im stable financially now. nth to worry about. hopefully this will give to the extra drive to work xtra hard.

And i got home jus about in time to prep my self to watch the big match of the day. Arsenal vs Man Utd. i always had a bad feeling whenever it comes to a weakened arsenal team. i always has this fear when everyone tries to write them off. little did i know that this fear is gonna come true. Man Utd eventually lost 2-1. partly due to their own poor finishing. its not entirely wrong to say that they caused their own downfall. its they who din capitalise when it matters most. no one else to blame but themselves. still it was very entertaining. end to end attacking game. part of the reason y i continued watching when they were 2-0 down was this. i could also c their fight spirit and the desire to play football. if not i wld probaly jus shut that god damn tv down. i was pretty frustrated that i almost felt like throwing my phone towards the tv screen. luckily i didn't..

went for supper at simpang after that. my cousin was driving. so i dun mind going.. dont hav a bike any longer as well. haha. watched soccer again over there. was interesting really. and now im still typing on my keyboard caused im not feeling that tired.

so this entry seems to be particularly long. i dont think anybody wld bother reading this.. i in particular hate long e-mails. and i dread reading a long email especially if the other party's england's pathetic, just like mine. wahaha. anyways. i guess its time to zZzz. tml's gonna be fun.. im gonna enjoy all out. i love my sat! happenings!

lost . . . and not found II

2008-11-04T20:36:00.002+08:00

haha. if u been wondering..

its sad to say, but i can no longer join the rest of the guys, cycling, enjoying the breeze at east coast..
cant make fun of ah huang le.. 30 mins! wahahaha. we'll reach anywhere in 30mins really if we wanted to. =x how to go simpang for supper nxt time?? =[

yep. i lost my $700 'two wheel ride' jus like that.. haha. kinda disappointed.. matters not how its lost. coz i din lose it.. i've got no freaking idea what happened either..

so yeap.. that's how it was really. it isn't jus the value of the bike that hurts.. its that entire presence of it and the sense of belonging that comes along.. oh well, over the years. if there's a mileage meter, i'll bet it wouldn't be less than 500km.

now i dun hab a two wheel anymore.. and dun intend to get another one.. in fact i cant even if i wanted to..

it'll be fine i guess..

sorry state...

2008-11-02T19:08:00.003+08:00

i duno what's changed.. it it u? or has it been me?

but i've come to realised that its bears no importance now..

the feeling is different now.. the attitude too.. u've been nonchalant..

tell me if im an eyesore. let me know im a nuisance..

do u even bother at all? i need to get over this.. its affecting my mood badly..

i cant concentrate on what im doing.. i cant even focus..

its affecting my daily life.. my soul, my very being..

i cant show my guys this worn out look... im pathetic really..

i need a saviour before i get drowned... what do i do?..

梦醒时分

2008-11-02T09:58:00.004+08:00

梦醒时分
演唱:张伟文
词曲:李宗盛

你说你爱了不该爱的人
你的心中满是伤痕
你说你犯了不该犯的错
心中满是悔恨
你说你尝尽了生活的苦
找不到可以相信的人
你说你感到万分沮丧
甚至开始怀疑人生
早知道伤心总是难免的
你又何必一往情深
因为爱情总是难舍难分
何必在意那一点点温存
要知道伤心总是难免的
在每一个梦醒时分
有些事情你现在不必问
有些人你永远不必等

你说你爱了不该爱的人
你的心中满是伤痕
你说你犯了不该犯的错
心中满是悔恨
你说你尝尽了生活的苦
找不到可以相信的人
你说你感到万分沮丧
甚至开始怀疑人生
早知道伤心总是难免的
你又何必一往情深
因为爱情总是难舍难分
何必在意那一点点温存
要知道伤心总是难免的
在每一个梦醒时分
有些事情你现在不必问
有些人你永远不必等
早知道伤心总是难免的
你又何必一往情深
因为爱情总是难舍难分
何必在意那一点点温存
要知道伤心总是难免的
在每一个梦醒时分
有些事情你现在不必问
有些人你永远不必等

this song is beautiful. im overflowing with emotions whenever i heard this song. the lyrics is that magical and it tells more than a thousand words. so very meaningful and so very true...

money and happiness

2008-11-01T20:30:00.005+08:00

can money bring about happiness? there are things that i want. but many a times i found myself unable to cough up that sum of money to get it.. haha. its not that i have cash flow problems, its just that after much considerations, i decided against it.

first of all, i'd love to have an ipod touch. but i alredy have a creative zen stone plus. no doubt the latter is like a piece of junk. but its still a fking mp3 player. so in the end i'd say fk it. i alredy hav a mp3 player. lets not waste the money. i wan a good new pair of running shoe. but i alredy have the junky SAF one. my wallet is old and useless. but its not torn yet! Lol. im stingy and cheapo. wahaha. but i know of more cheapo people lahss. HahAhahA!

does eating exp good food makes u happy? does going clubbing every nite makes u happy? does smoking + drinking makes one happy? imagine how much money one could have saved if one avoids all that.

some would think that life w/o such happenings are boring. some call it no life.. but seriously, there are better things out there to pursue. better activities out there more enjoyable and healthier..
i need to wake up from my deep sleep and start doing something out my current wrecked life. haha perhaps i'll start with saving 80% of my monthly allowance? it might just be possible.

pondering..

2008-10-31T20:28:00.002+08:00

i been thinking too much. being alone with nth to do can be horrible.. unpleasant thoughts and imaginations just go flashing past the mind.. i don't want this. gonna stop thinking..

words left unspoken, regrets tooo late..

2008-10-28T19:55:00.002+08:00

accept the fact, move on.

a simple gesture, action or behaviour speaks a thousand words. .

u poor sorry soul. .

lost . . . and not found

2008-10-26T23:50:00.000+08:00

how does it feel to be robbed of $600? -___-"

unretrievable time. . .

2008-10-25T17:44:00.002+08:00

went to dbl O again last nites. one of my guys bday party. so i went down to 'show face' wahaha.. alrights lah. was kinda fun too. positives with negatives. dbl O has been different lately. now there appears to be more girls there than b4. but in truth, i don't really care bout them.. im no clubber and im nt interested.. once again, i held back my drinking.. and no longer am i suffering frm the unbearable itch. nevertheless, its good to c my guys happy. have fun guys!~

went home late and slept late. but i woke up at 930. slept less than 6 hours.. recently playing a new game on my psp. haha. and i had so many more unwatched movies to go.. however.... im apparently too tired to do anything. i ttotally knock out for the whole afternoon until now.. at times my mum woke me up but i found no str in me to get out of bed.. so i knocked out again.. ZzzZzzzzzZz.. and who's to make up for my time loss.. so many things to do and so little time. seems like im not good and 'managing myself' much less to consider 'manage time'

not gonna brood over all that. its man utd vs everton laterz. today's a good day.. and i hope its gonna get bettttterrr. wahah. cos its a long weekend coming up u'know. =)

time?

2008-10-22T20:17:00.002+08:00

what do u mean by no time? fk u understand? yesterday and today no time? u come here and tell me u fking no time? u not interested isit? if u fking not interested then u blardy get out of this place!

- those were the times during training where 'no time' is a taboo word and can nvr be used as an excuse. I was an the receiving end of it when i produced a sub-standard piece of work.

that's besides the main point. there is 24hrs in a day and only so much u can do. THUS, instead of trying to "manage your time" to complete the $$%^& number of tasks. why not "manage your tasks" and complete them in a given set of time. As mentioned, there is only that much of things we can do. We shld manage our tasks, prioritise the more impt work and complete them within a certain time scale. The less impt work could either be thrown out of the window or jus micro manage them.

Instead of trying to complete all ur assignments and producing half fk results, we might as well pick out the most important assignment, focus our energy on it and produce a good work.

I believe bosses won't screw ppl for a slightly late but good assignment but they certainly would screw u for producing a fked up one.

The language is misleading: when someone has "no time", the disorder is not in his/her time but in his/her tasks. There are too many things: things that are too unimportant and too big that a person packs into that 24hrs. Simplification does not mean "saving time" but rather saving tasks". It's not a question of managing time. It's more about mangaing yourself.

fulfilling at the moment.

2008-10-21T22:12:00.003+08:00

all of a sudden, i got more and more guys under my wings. now i've got a entire platoon size of them. haha~ and some of them really naughty. whatever lahs. got to experienced something again. once again, i find myself a fantastic counsellor. Lol~ jus joking. on a side note, i seriously think im influencing the behaviour and discipline of my guys. everything jus goes around and comes around.

actually, im starting to love this camp more than b4. =x though there's some bad eggs here and there. at least there's beautiful girls in this camp. wahaha. i'd had to admit she looks good. but she's like 7 yrs older than me. Lol~

it jus feels like any normal working environment.. howevere i believe the office politics out there is gonna be way more powderful than it is right here.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

im getting plagued by the sleep bug nowadays. im falling asleep on trains far more often. i cant even read a book with my eyes open. i need to start reading on the BTT notes. hope to pass it on the 1st attempt tho. my forecast of events for Nov is gonna be crazy. but dec's gonna be a lovely month.. now i wonder...

Wish List

2008-10-19T20:50:00.002+08:00

1. my own personal bedroom
2. LCD TV
3. Hi-Fi Blast Audio system
4. Creative Zen X-Fi Mp3
5. Apple Macbook
6. A car and driver's license
7. Nike running shoes
8. Sony Playstation 3
9. Hubstation
10. 14/06/2009

there are probably more. so let me think 1st =)
money is almost everything

a night of fun and laughter..

2008-10-18T16:13:00.003+08:00

last night was the start of the weekend. whee~ and we went to aston's for dinner. as usual, the queue will long but the food was still good nonetheless. this time round, we met up with some friends we haven seen for awhile. wei hong and joseph. they haven really changed much. jus as we chat and chat on old times. i suddenly realised that we were all from the same pri school. wei hong actually sat beside me for 2 yrs in pri school. hahaha! i've got superb memory alrights. =)

the same old topics bout the army and the thing's we've learned from the army. added with a tinge of hyper duper lameness. we're really tri service. army, airforce, navy. waha~ i don remember another table in the entire restaurant that was louder than us. =/ in fact, at one point i laughed so hard that my stomach cramped and tears start rolling down my eyes..

it really was a enjoyable start to my weekend. love it totally. =D
And today, i finally got my lazy bum working, went down to CDC and reg for BTT. the test date's on 28th Nov. just one month later! the only dark side is that i waited 1hr due to the freaking long queue. the days ahead are brighter. and the most hectic week thus far was over. relief and smiles all over =)

hectic.

2008-10-15T19:30:00.003+08:00

im feeling so lethargic. after being away from home for 2 days. but its quite alrights. its really kinda peaceful in camp at times. provided nothing happens. haha!

its been far too packed these few days. far too hectic. now i could almost fall asleep on a chair.. right in front of the stupid pc. haha~ im supposed to be taking off for a dental appointment tml. but now it seems that i won't be able to. there's too many outstanding work that i have to go back camp and clear them. and some of them are quite urgent issues as well. ain't that just pathetic. partly i also dont feel like going for that dental. its too far from home and too inconvenient. hahaa!

that's just my life now. crazy ain't it. NSF so siao on de. very rare rite? but actually not true lah. there are actually some NSFs who will OT to complete their work de. and me? i everyday 1730 wait for bus =)

i very the happy loh. there's this gal in my camp loh. she's like so cute de loh. but she wears this nerd glasses that makes her look diff. but when in cv, its like totally makeover loh. WAh~ =X and the other day she called me loh. everyday got gal c. not bad right. heee
.
.
.
.
.

the rest is for ur imagination =)

a clueless kid once, then

2008-10-12T18:48:00.002+08:00

Seeing them play just reminds me of old times.
isn't childhood just so beautiful. i miss those times.

just appreciate life now.

2008-10-12T00:09:00.002+08:00

It was nice seeing everyone again after some long time. Although not very close and also don't really talk much. Still, i can see that everyone was glad to see everyone around. reminiscing the old times. =] seems like there's more parties going on until the end of the year. anticipating them. haha [=

It sure feels good to be loved by everyone isn't it. Whether friends, families or even your guys. In camp, im like the father figure to all of them. i'm slowly drifting away from them as well. Someone told me this. "bo bians, officer is lonely de." To me, that was neither true nor false. i mean as an officer, there is obviously a line drawn across. It wouldn't be nice to step over that boundary. I can also feel that there are things that the guys just cant share with me. There's just this barrier between us that made us can't be friends. Even when out of camp, they still called me 'Sir' Though some of them would call me by name and i totally have no issues with that.

the guys are great, they make the entire puzzle fall in place and they don't give me problems as well. Though i've been hard on them at times. It's for the good of them all. Their hard work were very much appreciated and i hope i am as well. What's more, its just nice to know that some of them actually changed for the better becoz of myself. It's a great feeling to know that I had such an impact on someone else's life. At the end of the day. i just want everyone to be happy. Life's short. Life in the army is shorter. There's no where else that's alike.

eventful day

2008-10-10T21:34:00.004+08:00

Today's the 10th Oct. Which is also the SAF's payday. Haha. We had our cohesion today. went to chevrons for bowling and followed by ktv and zes disco. would be lying if i say it wasn't fun. wahaha. enjoyed plenty of other fun games as well. sang like crazy, was really awesome. i controlled my drinking. no more itch le of coz.. haha~ what's more, i din knew some of my guys can sing that well. was totally impressed!

went to shop abit for clothes and stuffs after dinner. and now im back home thinking what might have been.

next week's gonna be hyper hectic. in fact. this month is gonna be so packed. i really just need a breather. furthermore, there's so many things left undone. omggg.....

Ex.

2008-10-07T22:40:00.002+08:00

i want go overseas for Ex.
Should just attach me out for the nxt 8 mths~
Fk it~

to be the bad guy instead?

2008-10-07T22:31:00.004+08:00

dead tired. coz i've done so much work today.

"don't keep taking the shit that comes, coz eventually more shit will come to you."

Basically it means the more junior you are, the more likely u r gonna get totally bullied if u wanna be the good guy.

they'll push work and sai kang to u and saying 'no' is not always the solution.

i nneed to learn how to say 'yes' but mean 'no'.

fulfilling and unhealthy lifestyle

2008-10-05T10:26:00.005+08:00

i had a wonderful saturday yest! haha~ tho it started with a rather dull morning doing parade and drill rehearsals. i thought it was quite fruitful especially for the regulars who have not been in touch with arms drills. It was also a great chance for all junior officers to get together and enjoy a short reminisce. haha~

i came back feeling so hungry and decided to disturb the rest and ask them out for breakfast. Lol!
end up only hao was available. never mind that.

Then, we went to sakae sushi for lunch cum dinner. haha. wonderful~ all of us was like damn full. and still laughed at some jokes that made my stomach cramp. wahaha! walked around town after that. thru esplanade and all, enjoying the breeze but missed the sunset. haha! too bad lah. none of us had a camera phone. neither did any of us brought a camera. wasted loh! all screwed!!

Truly, i've been through a really unhealthy lifestyle. i've skipped breakfast. had light lunch becoz always lacked the appetite. missed tea breaks. had late dinner. i thought i've lost weight really. now tht's really screwed. im weighing just over 62kg..
all that simply becoz i cant find the time to have proper meals.. sometimes i don even feel like having a proper one..

but lets just hope that october proves to be a brighter month for u and me.

war of words.

2008-10-03T20:14:00.002+08:00

imagine this:

Mr A: "No no no. Listen! what i'm saying is ......"

Mr B: "No wait. I understand i understand! i know all that but u need to understand this... we cant give u everything u asked for u see...."

Mr A: "No lah. u dun understand lah. u don't UNderStand!! i think i need to invite u over and take a look at our situation."

Mr B: "No no lah. u listen to me! slowly don't need so gan jiong! wah piang!.... i understand lah. i understand where u coming from.."

Mr A : "u really understand?. u really really really understand?"

Mr B: " yea! so what u talking about ah?"

read between the lines..

2008-09-30T22:30:00.003+08:00

just a conference meeting. it drags on and on.. its quite amazing how the smallest of details can be brought up and discussed for more than 30mins.. and its also how the way they speak that arouses me.. 話中有話 this is probably one way to define it. haha. appear to be like praising you. but is actually beating ard the bush. shooting u back instead..

Whatever it is, its still really good to tap on their rich veins of experience. its tiring and i hope future conferences could be shorter than it is now. the record stands at 11hrs of conference meeting!!

home sweet home and its public holiday. what to do? leave it to tml and go sleep right now ba~ ZzzZz (:

at peace

2008-09-29T19:39:00.001+08:00

keep quiet. . . .

enjoy the silence. . . . .

The days of late . . .

2008-09-27T18:14:00.003+08:00

We watched mamma mia! last night and it was a wonderful show albeit it seems like a MTV at times. Nevertheless, it was great. I guess it deserves 3.5/5 stars.

We slowly walked home after that just like we always have. Ah boy's gonna own a bike soon! and I want free rides!~ There was the craze bout pink again. I really wonder what's so nice bout pink. Apparently that's his favourite color.

Then there's hao who always seems so emo. Haha! He's getting affected by his peers. Stop the counting down to ORD! Just complete the task at hand for now i guess coz there ain't really a choice given to us. And he really shld change his nick to "AhHao Emo". Seems perfect doesn't it.

I feel i haven't been a very good friend as of late. I don't know why but I hope everyone understands.

It's Saturday evening and I'm at home staring at the computer screen again. There's the F1 fever in town these days and its really not appropriate to be in town anyways. Its been hard getting people out as well. We haven't been having fun together for some time, playing soccer and what not. This is no joke. Personal commitment and forced commitment comes into play. Our schedule just doesn't fit in. Ah Boy's taking leave + off for two weeks and that's awesome. I don't have the freedom of getting that much Off days though i can get it whenever i liked. I've planned to clear my leave on december and guess that's probably the best time to take a good break from the nonsense my entire wrecked life meant. I wish everything's just as simple as (a b c).

F1 fever's in town! I've heard that Fernando Alonso top the practice sessions. Let's hope he tops the qualifying as well! Manchester United had better thrash Bolton real hard tonight! I'm going for a 4-0 victory. Saturday night fever! Sunday Blues~ -_-
Haha! let's just enjoy while it lasts! (:

Appraisals.

2008-09-25T20:32:00.002+08:00

Some of the things my guys wrote bout me. good and bad.

2Lt Chuang He You is a very forceful and upright person. However, he is also very helpful and easy going at times. He organises outings for us to promote cohesiveness. He is also very friendly and approachable. He can be very forceful at time when he wants to get things done. For e.g, he implemented a new system where the seniors and juniors are treated more fairly.
A very easy going and nice to talk to officer, have alot of good ideas to motivate us and was also quite lenient with us. However, he can be very strict when it comes to work which is a good thing. Ever since the new system was created, things seem to improve.
He plays well in his role as a BSO, having the leadership skills to lead his man well. He is also understanding and cares for his man.

Promise but don't deliver at times.
Listens sometimes.
Firm with decisions but some impractical
Still new, can improve and overall a good leader.
Sometimes just feel that he doesn't listen to man level opinions.

Sometimes its just nice to know how ur guys feel about u isn't it~

lovely

2008-09-24T18:14:00.003+08:00

Leader?

2008-09-23T23:05:00.003+08:00

im a commander for god damn sake.. i've my guys i need to care for. their welfare. their worries, their lifestyle and difficulties. everything. its my responsibility as their leader.

i like to see the guys enjoy their time. have fun and laughter together as a group. see them smiling and gossiping, laughing at others shortcomings. they have their low points as well. and when that happens. i found myself at a lost of wondering how to actually motivate them..

Everyday im making decisions.. i've had my fair share of good and bad ones. decisions that affect the life of another person drastically.. i've made decisions on short notice. even now, decisio making remains one of my weakest link.. still, i've to brace myself for future endeavours..

today, i've heard that my guy who i've posted out somewhere else cried becoz he felt he's alr bonded into his current environment.. it's not like i've much of a choice eventually. but sometimes hearing such things happening makes me feel devastated.. makes me wonder just what kind of a leader am i really..

it jus suddenly strikes to me so deeply that how much one's decision really could impact so many around him, whether positively/negatively. . .

Ain't she gorgeous?

2008-09-22T22:14:00.000+08:00

城裡的月光

2008-09-21T18:47:00.002+08:00

每顆心上某一個地方
總有個記憶揮不散
每個深夜某一個地方
總有著最深的思量

世間萬千的變幻
愛把有情的人分兩端
心若知道靈犀的方向
哪怕不能夠朝夕相伴

城裡的月光把夢照亮
請溫暖他心房
看透了人間聚散
能不能多點快樂片段

城裡的月光把夢照亮
請守候他身旁
若有一天能重逢
讓幸福撒滿整個夜晚

每顆心上某一個地方
總有個記憶揮不散
每個深夜某一個地方
總有著最深的思量

世間萬千的變幻
愛把有情的人分兩端
心若知道靈犀的方向
哪怕不能夠朝夕相伴

城裡的月光把夢照亮
請溫暖他心房
看透了人間聚散
能不能多點快樂片段

城裡的月光把夢照亮
請守候他身旁
若有一天能重逢
讓幸福撒滿整個夜晚

城裡的月光把夢照亮
請溫暖他心房
看透了人間聚散
能不能多點快樂片段

城裡的月光把夢照亮
請守候他身旁
若有一天能重逢
讓幸福撒滿整個夜晚

若有一天能重逢
讓幸福撒滿整個夜晚

The vicious cycle.

2008-09-19T11:56:00.003+08:00

why are we doing what we are.? extra precautions.? certain level of classifications.
why are we doing all these? simply because we cant compromise! and when something happens. people will start pointing fingers. it just goes around and round like a vicious cycle.

Sometimes when i look at the guys, its just amazing they're putting in so much for everyone. the kind of work they do.. throughout the nite. without sleep.. i've experienced a little of that and i could tell that it was no joke..

The level of concentration that u have to be in. and considering the fact that we humans alertless drops drastically during the nite. any mistake would have been catastrophic cdonsidering what we're dealing with. so what pulls them through.? thier level of endurance are nt any lower than us and worse still, there's nth in the short term for them to look forward to..

Sometimes as commanders on the ground, u feel powerless to help make their life just that bit better.

haiz. its alright.. i think i shld go zzz. +_+

一相情愿

2008-09-16T20:14:00.004+08:00

live to tell a tale

what is it..

2008-09-14T14:27:00.002+08:00

the signs are there..
the stars said so..
my mind believes so..
my heart feels it..

what is it really?
there's two now.
are you or you hinting me on something?
i couldn't grasp.

The truth?
can i handle the truth?

what do i do?
i don't wish for this..

my sacrifice

2008-09-13T18:50:00.003+08:00

if u need me, i'll be there~
if u don't, i'll be gone~

sweet weekend ahead

2008-09-13T12:31:00.002+08:00

its been a while since we last hang out. been a while since we enjoyed the breeze at east coast. yest was a good cameo. lol all hao's fault. but never mind. went for supper. talked crap. realised that ever since we enlisted. the common topic has always been that. how terrible our experience is. how xiong is it. what kind of funny experience we encountered. wahaha. basically just every damn thing lah.. time flies. just 9 more months and its goodbye~ and my dear cousin is enlisting. LoL. still cannot pass napfa.. good luck lah huh.. enlisting earlier isn't always a bad thing anyway.

and its saturday le! feels bright feels good~ mayb watch a few movies again b4 going out. or not at all. i wonder.. my buddy came back from brunei le.. and his training is tougher than mine.. so what makes me worth 1k?. anyway. jus glad he's back.

there's a big match tonight! man utd vs liverpool! hoping for a good result.

enjoy while i can really! coz the coming week is gonna be like hell.. im used to not bringing work back home so this is really my personal time. the next 36hrs that is~ =]

this wretched place

2008-09-10T20:23:00.002+08:00

what would u do if ur in a shit place that u nvr wanted to belong to?
what would u do when ur given a shit job that u nvr enjoyed doing?
what would u do when shit happens and and people push the shit to u?
what would u do when some bugger nags at u like some crazy old hag when she obviously is the one who has a couple of screws loose up above?

haiz. and unfortunately, im at such a place right now around such people. Well luckily, i think after this project, i won't ever be associated with these bitches again. makes me wanna puke, damn old hags. damn pissed.

this place is the totally opposite of paradise. i wouldn't rate it better than a rubbish dump. Selfish people? Emo people? No life people? Nosey people? Talk only No action(TONA) people? Fact is, it just truly suks. What happens when someone needs ur help? i'll definitely help regardless of who he is. But what happens again when u need help?
Their answer?
1. Not me not me? pls direct to him!
2. no lah. go and tell xxx lah.
3. huh? why me?

i say fuck u understand??

It really pisses me off that MUCH. and of cos no offences to the really helpful bunch which i think does not amount to 50% of the lot.
People are smart and they wouldn't do more than required of them. So as new guys, we'll definitely get bullied one way or another.

Its hard being a bad guy but it ain't easy being a nice guy either. But there's this saying "Being kind to your enemy meant being cruel to urself." treat people nice and u might never know when they'll just turn around and bite ur tail. Some people are just really not worth the effort.

So i just thought, if the society is as bad as it is here. I wonder how long i can stand it here. I dread looking at how the trains are packed the way it is. I hate the no life place it is right here.

what now? time to pamper myself~

2008-09-08T22:28:00.002+08:00

and so i've completed like one huge project. wonder when the next one's coming. but surely the arrows will start flying along. no issues though! i think im more than prepared to deal with it. more than ever!

Lately, there's more PT sessions le. New PT prog introduced for the IPPT failures. Of coz, i'll be joining my guys lah. haven had such workouts for some time le and my body feels lethargic.. There was some aching ard my upper body especially my chest and lats. Nonetheless, it was fulfilling through and through..

omgg.. i think i spent quite abit this month le.. payday faster come!

i miss my buddies lei! This week's gonna have a feast. Looking forward to it!!

home alone

2008-09-07T11:33:00.002+08:00

i was home alone for the 1st time since a long time. watched 2 movies, couple of animes and TV. really enjoyed my day. been long since i had such a relaxing day.

but surely this coming week, arrows will start flying again. boo hoo. that suks. but when all dont work out. i still hav my precious peeps ard me. for myself and for all ard me, i wont go down ever.

hate

2008-09-04T20:21:00.001+08:00

i think i hate u. i really do..

my 2 yrs..

2008-09-02T20:35:00.002+08:00

having unwillingly surrendered 2 yrs of my life, i've also surrendered both my freedom and soul. nonetheless, i've more or less fit into the new system and environment that im in right now. as an officer, the weight of expectation is always there. and couple that with the pressure to deliver.. at times it has been difficult. but eventually everything's just got going.

though at times, i feel like all this is nothing compared to what the others are going through. im considered to having a really good life now. regardless, i know my families, buddies and big sis are always there by my side. hahaha. they rox. luv them~

太傻

2008-08-30T13:50:00.000+08:00

痴痴地想了多少夜
我还是不了解
是什么让我们今天会分别
反正梦都是太匆匆
反正爱只能那么浓
心与感情让它粉碎飘散在风中
只是为何当初你是
不听所有纷纷扰扰流言之中漫天风雨你会选择了我
只是为何如今我们
不顾一切追求真爱坚持底下苦尽甘来你会放弃了我
再说你也不会懂
心再痛你能做什么
不再将自己深锁错了又错
守住你的承诺太傻只怪自己被爱迷惑
说过的话已不重要可是我从不曾忘掉
守住你的承诺太傻只怪自己被爱迷惑
醉过的心那里去找对著满满空虚回忆怎么逃

for those dwelling within

2008-08-30T12:14:00.003+08:00

its weekend again. was really fast. things are really going quite well these few days.. actually saw my fren yest when i went to be the ippt neutral. such coincidence that he was actually the conducting officer. talked about old days. cool and really memorable.. such events really brightened up my day.. such is the nature of men in green.. we hardly have time to catch up with people. neither do others hav time to accomodate us. those short time together, chatting bout the part of lives that has gone so wrong.. those short messages that really cheered me up from time to time.. those encouragements given to me. it really means that much. and sometimes i think i really need to grow up. im still feel like a 15 yr old kid.

Tight timeline

2008-08-25T22:02:00.001+08:00

so many things, so little time. . . +_+

Our loved ones.

2008-08-24T19:39:00.002+08:00

truly a tiring day. went for AHM in the morning and subsequently to the SG expo for the screening of money no enough 2. After the show, director Jack Neo and his cast of actors/actresses came and greeted the crowd.

For the 1st time in a long time, the movie moved me to tears. It was a sudden surge of emotions and as ever, shows our negligence to the ones who are really important to us.

Many of us never really realised how important the people ard us are until we lose a part of it. And because of the sole reason that they have always been there for us, we neglected it and took them for granted. i've suddenly thought how lucky i truly am.

My Life

2008-08-23T12:40:00.000+08:00

Just a blink of an eye, 21 years flashed past. No longer the boy who would run out of a kindergarten class for mommy. No longer the young pri school boy who would cry in the first day of school, wondering where momma was. There was also this little girl that i would always approach then. She was apparently the cutest girl then. as far as im concerned. 7 year old boy knows how to pao niu liao. HahA. Damn cool. That was exactly how i was like those times. I've made friends but few in between. Remember Yq, the neighbour, loud and mischievious, full of nonsense and pranks. Hao, the boy who has the exact same bag as I do. Those were like 14 years ago. Boys as we are, would almost get together everyday and play all we can. To continue anymore would be crazy. we've shared that much and i could probably come up with a novel for all that if i had been a good writer.

We remained in touch even until secondary school. Perhaps fate. However, boys as boys will never be like how girls are. We shared much, having fun, playing all we could but heart to heart, we've never really shared much. That's besides the point.

Army has came between all of us. I've found myself drifting apart from the rest. slowly but surely. But now that army life has turned out so much better for me, that fact remains. Simply because they don't enjoy that luxury i do, albeit some of them do. I've came through 12 mths of training. I couldn't really apprehend toughness or hardship. It was just numbness all along. I've seen people trying to geng. Some came up with suicidal thoughts. One even had depression out of nowhere. I still remember my days where almost every single person in my bunk were attached. Oh yea sometimes i wish there would be that special someone to carry me through all these shiets that we were practically forced to go through. So has the boy turned into a man? To me, hardly.

So what is love. i don understand and probably never will. It just flashes past and goes by like nothing ever happened. Why do people still yearn to be loved when they practically had been hurt a million times before. Just how powerful is love truly is.?

Friendship is precious, not only in the shade, but in the sunshine of life.
To have a friend is a blessing. To be a friend is a honor. Yet as friends, we are typically relegated to standby status in one another's lifes. We do our best to connect when one of us has something significant to celebrate or commiserate. Otherwise, though, we tend to squeeze each other into whatever slots are left over after the other people and responsibilities in our lives get thier share.

Amazingly, our friends understand. They patiently wait their turn and graciously accept whatever time and attention we give them. They're always there when we need them, and they forgive us when we're slow to recognize thier needs. Such is the nature of friendship --- true friendship

Apologize

2008-08-21T19:28:00.000+08:00

I'm holding on your rope,
Got me ten feet off the ground
I'm hearin what you say but I just can't make a sound
You tell me that you need me
Then you go and cut me down, but wait
You tell me that you're sorry
Didn't think I'd turn around, and say that...

It's too late to apologize, it's too late
I said it's too late to apologize, it's too late

I'd take another chance, take a fall
Take a shot for you
And I need you like a heart needs a beat
But it's nothing new
I loved you with a fire red-
Now it's turning blue, and you say...
"Sorry" like the angel heaven let me think was you
But I'm afraid...

It's too late to apologize, it's too late
I said it's too late to apologize, it's too late

It's too late to apologize, it's too late
I said it's too late to apologize, it's too late
It's too late to apologize, yeah
I said it's too late to apologize, yeah-
I'm holdin on your rope, got me ten feet off the ground...

Short Testimonial

2008-08-20T19:38:00.000+08:00

OCT CHUANG HE YOU is diligent, helpful and shows initiatives in doing things. He is well disciplined and never poses problems to his instructors. He is a person who is always willing to learn and will not hesitate to clarify his doubts. He obtained a GOLD standard for IPPT.
He needs to be more vocal as he is soft spoken by nature and also to improve on his decision making skills.

How true??

midweek

2008-08-20T19:20:00.000+08:00

its midweek le. n im still on course. so pathetic and bored.. doesn't help that lessons go from morning to nite. every single day.. falling asleep is usual.. at least still can sms abit to keep myself occupied. talking bout that.. this unlimited sms shit has me taking things for granted once again.. it hasn't been all that special anymore and there's no joy in it as well.. not lest when ur ignored.. i couldn't care less now.

jus on course for some time. but people back camp are bothering me with unnecessary calls and all that shit things.. this is a break that doesn't really seem like one.. so many things requiring attention, yet im not ard to do it. people got prob find u, ok help them. but then u got bitten back. cant be a nice guy really. a nice guy is really the stupidest person..

well.. its nt good feeling lousy. much worse trying to vent ur frustrations on other people.. till now. i still feel bad to those to bore the full brunt of my force.. or so to say. quite horrific..

waiting for weekend..

a brand new week/new day

2008-08-18T20:25:00.000+08:00

today woke up damn early again. slept only 4hr. tmd. and to think man utd failed to win last nite -__- .. never mind that.. today's lesson really long and draggy. instructor full of bullshits.. that made everyone laugh a little tho. at least can keep awake.. hahaha.. den waited damn long for nth until ard 1830. bloody hell.. the nxt cool thing is panda aka big sis was actually one train ahead of me. lol. small world but nt so small after all huh.. well eventually saw her and yunru and tamp. well whatever. its yunru's bday tho. cool huh ^^

im still bloody itching here and there.. alamak. alcohol so destructive meh.. think twice b4 u drink manz..
and lastly im feeling rejuvenated today. hopefully that's a good sign for things to come.. =]

one night of madness. .

2008-08-17T11:12:00.000+08:00

u know something? i haven blog for like years. somehow i feel like penning my thoughts down now.. but i dun think anyone would realise but whatever.. thought about so many things happening this few days. what could have been.. Sometimes i wonder if i should do what i wanna do becoz failure and regrets continues to haunt me to date.. at the same time, i don't wanna regret the fact that i've done nothing bout it.. it hurts really.. so i drank n drank but no answers could be found of coz.. went crazy messing ard dancing away. hahaha.. but for what?? and to think that im itching all over my body becoz of some allergy or pre-diabetes symptoms.. lol does this mean im gonna die if i continue to drink further.. but one day everyone would rite? lol. alcohol poisoning.. sounds fking deadly. whaah.. how to don't think don't care don't bother?? i wanna return to my carefree joyous life..